I'M TRYING. I PROMISE. I'M TRYING.

Okay that's only a little bit a lie. I am trying, just not very hard. I can't think of ANYTHING to write for this English paper and I'm going insane. I'm going to be up so late. I can't think of anythinggg. I'm going to die. Seriously I'm just gonna lie down on the floor and cease to be alive.

I realized, blogger is just twitter for the less eloquent people, who can't fit their ideas into 140 characters and have to ramble for a billion years to get their messages across. Except sometimes I don't have a message, I just like to ramble.

I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.

You couldn't tell, but each of those had emphasis on a different word.

You just went through and reread that, putting emphasis on a different word each time.

Actually probably you didn't, but that's what I would do.

I just wanna watch Lost. I blame Will for this addiction. Watching Lost is all I ever want to do. Fat Thursday is soon and I'm supposed to make a two-layer cake but I'm not gonna have time. I still have to do my chemistry pre-lab, and it's 8:40. And write my paper.

This is what I mean. I know that I should try harder on my homework because I'm gonna be up really late hating myself later, but I'm still not starting it. Know why? Cuz I'm stupid. That's the only reasonable explanation that I can think of.

I was gonna cut my hair over the weekend, but then I realized that I don't have enough hair to cut. Maybe the top layers. Idk. I'll just not cut it.

My palms are warm but my fingers are freezing cold and can barely function. I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. My hands are always cold. All the time. I hate it. I can't do anything with cold hands. Especially texting. I literally txt in slow motion because my fingers physically will not go faster. It's strange.

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I am so beyond frustrated. I need to start my paper. NOW.

There is no racism in America! I mean there is, but to be perfectly honest I don't care enough about it to think that hard. There's racism, but it's not a problem. Our president is black! How are you gonna top that? Seriously like okay yeah a lot of people are automatically judged differently because they are colored than a white person would be, but the opposite is true in any other country that is mostly colored. It's a fact of life. I'm not trying to defend America. It's just true. As little as race actually matters, it still is a factor in society, even though it shouldn't be. How are we gonna solve that? I have no frickin idea. And I don't want to think about it. I just want to watch Lost.
things i like:
cake
lost
people
strawberry ice cream
summer
the ocean
diners
star wars
disney
the fifties
stephen king
pan am
traveling
having money
not having anything to procrastinate on
when people retweet my tweets
being me
having warm hands
pianos
going to minneapolis
lebanese food
talking on the phone
your mom





idk.

things i dont like:
wanting to hang up but whoever it is (most likely a parent) won't stop talking so you're like 'yes. yes. okay. yes. okay. uh-huh. BYE.'
ap chemistry
labs
doing work
not sitting
fifty degree weather in january in minnesota
the fact that it's january
when my hands are cold
not owning those cool mittens where the thumbs come off so you can text.
not owning an iphone so i cant have cool speech bubbles when i text.
being ocd about how many bars are on my phone
when the door is not closed
not owning a car
not having a license
the fact that i have to go to college
YOUR MOM

things i like, again:
my moms flower garden
sun
full moons
singing disney songs
movie marathons
mario
goldeneye parties
food

things i dont like:
lying
that fact that i am lazy
the fact that i have no motivation whatsoever
the fact that i actually have to try in school
annoying people
not knowing things
valentines day
obligations
people telling me what to do
people yelling at me
people expecting things from me
people talking to me (at certain times) (like now)
being in my room or the office and my siblings come in and decide theyre gonna hang out with me when really i just want to be by myself
sending a text and realizing theres a typo and its too late to fix it
our government and its stupidness
american society
the fact that i cant speak arabic and all of my cousins and everybody in my family can and im just the stupid american one that just speaks english and is always left out because i barely even speak french and it takes me forever to figure out what theyre saying and i'm way younger than all my cousins so i'm just the child and just basically yeah
when people dont take me seriously
being interrupted
subconciously succumbing to the complete neglect of grammar that our society has assumed
the fact that i still havent started my essay
when my phone 'stores' messages and i get them an hour later so people think i just decided not to text them back
when im thirsty but too lazy to get water
the fact that i cant go to communion in church because i never had a first communion so i just have to stay in the pew and then when everybody gets back from communion they have to awkwardly scoot past me and i have to awkwardly bend my knees and yeah

things i like:
reading rainbow theme song
arthur theme song
things that remind me of childhood
picture books
when you open a picture book and it smells really good you know what im talking about?
really old books
having a job
being a teenager
music
my grandma
my grandmas house
being lebanese
making lists
easter
when i know the words to the songs in church without having to read from the books
going to caribou
the fact that french comes easily to me
classical music
baking
being a girl
new piano music
playing a piano that is not my own
my cousins
when i have a lot of things to fill up my calendar because i dont like when its empty
hot showers at the end of the day (or sometimes the middle of the night)
exploring in the woods
having a stack of books next to my bed
trips to the library in the summer
excelsior
licks unlimited
mgmt

things i dont like:
growing up
having responsibility
being cold
not knowing how to respond to a text
WHEN PEOPLE DONT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR AND YOU'RE
when people cant spell
when people dont use correct grammar because theyre stupid (as opposed to knowing it but choosing not to like i sometimes do)
when people dont use semicolons correctly
going to chemistry
the thought of going to chemistry
walking into the chem room
thinking about chemistry
teachers who think their word is law
anyone who thinks their word is law
people who deal in extremes
time
turkey bacon
fish (alive or as food)
forgetting things
losing things
breaking things
not seeing the end of movies
messing up the last note of a piano piece after you played it really well
people touching me unnecessarily
FISH
(i was thinking about fish again and realized how much i actually hate them so i decided to say it again)
eating too much and feeling like crap after
old country buffet
fake laughter
public displays of affection
hypocrites
the fact that i am a hypocrite
narrow minded people
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I NEED TO WRITE THIS ESSAY OH MY GOSH.




im gonna go now.