What A Real Zombie Apocalypse Would Be Like (Part 1)

So, everyone, being the selfish creatures that we are, assumes that if there were ever a zombie apolcalypse, we would be fighting zombies and hiding out and blah blah blah. And notice how the assumption is always that we aren't the zombies? That *we* never get infected, it's always other people? Well, not to be a debbie downer, but somebody has to be the zombie. We can't all be the heroes who fight our way to the military sanctuary in California or something. Chances are, the majority of us would be infected, and we would be the ones getting shot with the machine gun that said heroes mysteriously acquired.

However, in the unlikely case that we are part of the select few that have managed to escape zombification, this is how it all would go down:

***disclaimer*** this is just a hypothetical imaginative little deal. i dont want a zombie apocalypse to happen, and i'm not threatening the school with a bomb or anything. so if a teacher or administrator somehow finds this, because we all know you like to stick your noses in EVERYBODY's business, just hold your little horses cuz i'm not making a threat, im just sayin some stuff. don't go getting all offended and punish me. let's go with, i'm practicing my writing skills. okay? okay. glad we're clear.

First of all, I must explain how we managed to escape the horrible fate that so many others suffered. So, there we are, sitting in seventh hour on the fourth to last day of school (that's a monday). Now, I know, obviously, that June sixth is not any of the predicted days that the world is supposed to end, but it fits my story, so go with it. Suddenly, there's a gas leak. The pipe that has the leak happens to be one that spans the length of that section of classrooms (the french room, the asl room, the chinese room and the german room). This means that these four classes must evacuate IMMEDIATELY, before the rest of the school even has time to react, because we are in the most danger. (Poisonous carbon monoxide is pouring into our classrooms) Just as our classes exit the building through the stairs that lead to the bus area, a giant explosion is heard from the southwest side of the school. (The sophomore hallway, near the science classrooms.) The four classes immediately erupt into panic, but the teachers somehow manage to herd us to the far side of the parking lot, near the fence, where we begin moving to the right, towards the football field. Just then, another explosion is heard, and we look up just in time to see what would normally be the theater erupt into a mass of flame and oily black smoke. Suddenly, we see what look like military planes overhead, dropping two more bombs onto the freshman/junior area, and the gym. Before we have time to react, our school is destroyed. Soon enough, we see the reason for this brutal attack. Running out of the smoke and ruin like wild animals, we see about twenty students. They are on all fours, and from our position we can just make out what looks like foam coming from their mouths. Suddenly they all stand up and begin to attack each other in a bloody, manic fight to the death. When half of them have established their power over the other half (that now lay dead in the parking lot), they proceed to eat their brains, and then return to all fours and run down the road toward Lyman. We realize that, standing in the open, we are in imminent danger, and so, as a group, we run down to that shed where the football team hangs out during halftime and such at the games. Once the doors are sealed closed, we can finally stop, sit on whatever surface is nearest (for most of us the floor) and take into account the situation.

***background*** Although we don't know this yet, we will find out soon via smartphones and the internet, and I'll just tell you now, as I'm just relaying this information hypothetically and it's easier to just know what's going on than be left wondering. Through some strange and unexplainable phenomenon, one of the students at our school, at 2:27 on June sixth, went crazy and became a zombie. It was a junior (told you the juniors were sketchy). There she was, sitting in her AP government class (which is in the sophomore hallway)watching Forrest Gump (as the AP classes had already taken their finals), when all of a sudden she jumped onto her desk, mouth foaming, and attacked another classmate. As soon as she sank her now razor-sharp teeth into the students arm, the student began acting exactly as she did. The teacher, in a panic, hid under her desk, called 911 and reported "an out-of control student". However, once she had described the actions of the two students (who were now working on infecting the rest of the class, some of which had escaped to other classrooms nearby so as to infect as many people as possible), the 911 operator knew right away exactly what kind of situation she had on her hands. The operator dialed a special military code, prepared for such emergencies, and alerted an army general of a zombie emergency at a high school in the suburbs of Minneapolis. The army, prepared for any situation, no matter how unlikely, went straight to their Zombie Apolcalypse Prevention plan, and within ten minutes, had blown up the the school so as to stop the spread of the 'disease'.

Unfortunately, the ten infected zombies that had escaped were the one flaw in the otherwise perfectly executed plan. Once they reach Lyman, they jump on cars moving at speeds as high as fifty miles per hour, rip open the windshields and infect the people inside within twenty seconds. It isn't long before the entire town is infected, save for a few people who heard what was happening and hid in their basement with the doors locked and sprayed lemon juice all over the rest of the house to hide the smell of their yummy human flesh.

So here we are, our french class, the asl class, the chinese class, and the german class, hiding in this shed, and we can hear zombies outside on the football field killing each other and sometimes banging on the outside of the shed. Luckily, they're not smart enough to even try to open the door, and the shed is made of metal that's too heavy for the zombies to rip open. (by the way, just to give you a better feel for the situation, imagine high schoolers and how scary some of them are. now imagine them as zombies, wanting to rip you apart and eat your brains. yeah, scary.) A few of the girls who are weak at heart are already crying (I'll let you imagine for yourself who they are), and everybody is pale faced and silent. The teachers, who gave up  even trying to do anything, are standing perfectly still and staring at the wall.

Now, what will we do? How will we escape this shed to find food and water? Who, besides us, is okay? What of our family, and the rest of our friends? Where will we be safe? These questions and more are answered in part 2, which will come later today or tomorrow or something. Or never, if I'm too lazy to write it and think of something better.