theres really nothing to say that i havent said already.

so. its friday night, my friends left, and im sitting in the basement listening to disney songs staring at a computer screen by myself. on the bright side, im not eating. this is my life. why cant it be summer? if it was summer i'd be outside. i have a lot of homework this weekend because the teachers are piling it all on before school ends. see? i've said all of this before.

oh. well i do have some news. not that its really news. but i did talk to the you know who today. it was another one of those pathetic exchanges of dialogue but hey i have nothing to talk about so. it went something like this:

"do you guys care if i play the piano in here?"

"what?"

"do you care if i play the piano?"

"okay" (or some other form of agreement, i dont really remember.)

"cool"

anyway then i attempted to play the piano but 1. i felt awkward and 2. they were playing random music so i just kinda left. i was with emily, by the way.

you know, actually, as i was thinking 'oh yay i get to go to sixth hour band again' today, i actually did think, oh, what if he's in the orchestra room and i go in there and ask if i can play the piano and then play it. i actually did think that. but in my head it went a little differently. it was more, there was no awkward music and i was playing and he was like youre good and then we played the piano together and rode off into the sunset. okay thats not actually how it went in my head, but it was closer to that than to what actually happened. so see? the things i imagine *start out* realistic, and then my imagination goes overboard and imagines things that really are never gonna happen and leave me disappointed. just like when i was trying to figure out what would happen if i sat with him back in like october. it usually ended in 'can i have your number' (but not in the black voice), and not, 'oh youre a drummer are they heavy when you carry them jennifer your bus driver looks like a mountain man.' but, okay, whatever. i'll probably just forget about him this summer. right? hopefully. well not hopefully. idk. WHATEVER.


you know, these last two weeks seriously would go a lotttt faster if we got our yearbooks like this week. i would be a happy camper if we did that. seriously, i wudnt even mind that much if we actually did work in class if we just got the dang things. i want them so bad. so bad.

how high does the sycamore grow?
if you cut it down, then youll never know
and youll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
for whether we are white or copper skinned,
we need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
need to paint with all the colors of the wind
you can own the earth and still,
all youll own is earth until,
you can paint with all the colors of the wind

yep. thats what im listening to. wow, i wonder why guys dont like me. i am suchhhh a fun person. i mean, just look at me right now, out partyin with older attractive people, being all fun and interesting. thats me, always out and about in one place or another, doing normal things with normal people. normal. seriously. like some people sayyy they are losers who have no lives, and really they only say that when theyre inside on the like the one friday night of the month, and the rest of the time theyre out having a social life and they only say theyre a loser so that people will tell them that theyre not. but im serious. i really am a loser. i can accept that.

i am the great stone dragon! i will go forth and fetch mulan! great stone dragon!

know what i hate? when slutty girls put on one of their revealing little shirts and then nerd glasses and take one of their cute little pictures and put it on facebook and make the caption 'nerd ♥' or something annoying like that. im like, youre not a nerd, youre just a slut. frustrating.

okay, imma go forth and fetch mulan now. or something similar. most likely ill actually like go eat food or something. like ice cream. or a spoonful of peanut butter. a spoonful of peanut butter makes the medicine go down. and watch without a trace on my cableless television. man i miss cable. more than you can ever even imagine. i even miss spongebob. which i didnt even like that much ever. but now i want to watch it just because i cant watch it unless i have CABLE. oh, glorious cable. you know, maybe i wont eat food. i feel kinda fat. only, theres that one lone piece of pizza thats sitting on the stove and i know im gonna walk through the kitchen just cuz thats what i do and im gonna see that pizza and im going to eat it. i am. now i want a smoothie. you know, the good thing about being supremely lazy is that you wont even get that fat, cuz even though youre lazy, youre too lazy to even make yourself food, so you wont eat. oh my gosh. oh, my gosh. this is my life. who reads this? jennifer. jennifer reads this. only jennifer. occasionally meaghan. this is my life. thissssssssssssss issssssssssssss myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife. lovely. dear summer, dear sweet, sweet summer, please come soon, please come ever so soon. please. *voice breaks* please. *voice reduced to a pathetic whisper* please...
*hand reaches into distance, then quivers for a bit. cut to black, with the question of whether the hand fell or not lingering in the silent air*