sorry im so lame

please continue to not comment on any of my posts. that makes me really happy. it definitely doesnt make me feel like the internet is a bottomless void into which my carefully selected words are being thrown, never to be seen again.

so please continue.

please.






how do you solve a problem like maria? how do you catch a cloud and pin it down? something something....how do you hold a moonbeam in your hands?



lolololol when i was typing maria i accidentally said mario. how do you solve a problem like mario? hire luigi to kill him. i can do that, since im luigi. sucks to suck mario.

my fingers are really cold on account of the cold shower i was just forced to take. it's hard to type with cold fingers. it's hard to do anything with cold fingers, really, which you would know if you had The Curse Of The Cold Fingers like I do. The Curse Of The Cold Fingers is a dangerous spell that was cast upon me when I was a very small child, maybe even right when I was born, by an evil ice witch. The witch wanted everyone to experience the cold that she felt every day in her heart, so she went around casting ice spells on all the babies in the land. (by 'the land', i mean crystal, the town where i was born. that's why it's called crystal, after ice crystal, in honor of the queen (she's a witch queen...thing...yeah i dont know).) anyway, one night in the dead of winter of my first year of living, when i was only six or seven months old, she crept into my room and up to my crib. now, it just so happened that my little infant self was having a wonderful dream at that moment, one about a magical light that made you warm all the time so you never had to be cold. in truth, this was more than a dream, because this magical light of warmth was real, and it wandered around infants' dreams in an attempt to stop the ice queen witch evil lady. the witch leaned over my crib and breathed her magical icy breath onto me, hoping to make me cold forever. but the power of the dream was enough to diminish the spell to nothing more than a cool breeze. this made the witch angry. she had never been thwarted before, and she wondered how a helpless infant could have resisted her magic. she breathed again, this time blowing harder and harder until she froze the very air itself, and the crib and the quilt surrounding me, forming ice crystals everywhere. still i stayed mostly warm and free of ice, though i shivered a little. the power of the magical light was weakening as the queen strengthened her spell. it shone brighter in a further attempt to keep me safe. after a few futile minutes the queen saw that she must give up, but in her last efforts she was more powerful than ever before, concentrating on the weakest parts of my tiny body. the light shone throughout every inch of me, struggling, weakening, but it could not reach the furthest part of my body, my fingers. the queen saw this vulnerability, and blew even harder on my small fingers, until eventually her breath ran out and she slunk from the room, cackling at the small victory, ready to move on to the next child.

So, although the queen's full magic wasn't able to reach me, i was still left with some of the effects of the spell. i am not alone; the magical light managed to help a few other babies, and the babies' fingers continue to be the achilles heel. because of the witch, our fingers are doomed to be cold and unable to function for our entire lives. together, we suffer the eternal effects of The Curse Of The Cold Fingers.



where did that even come from. i totally didn't plan to write that. it just came out. i'm so effing weird like what i dont even

where did that come from