2012: It's Coming

I used to think the idea of the world ending in 2012 was ridiculous. I mean, seriously, the Mayan calendar ends which means we're all going to die? Yeah, okay, whatever you say Crazy. But now, I see it differently. The Mayans were obviously some sort of super-advanced voodoo alien tribe that came from another planet, foresaw the end of our planet, made a civilization here with extremely advanced pyramids and rituals, and then left well before anything disastrous could happen. That is obviously the truth; I don't know how I could have missed it before.
And since they're a super-advanced voodoo alien tribe from another planet and are right about the world ending, that mean's we've got less than a year and four months until civilization as we know it comes to an end. So be prepared, people. I don't know if it'll be a zombie apocalypse, but it wouldn't hurt to have weapons handy anyway. Might as well have them in case the dinosuars or some mutant alien beasts come a-knocking, or something similar and equally dangerous. Also, have a deep subterranean cellar installed, and reinforce your house with steel and titanium. Oh, and you might want to add lead to that list as well, in case there's some nuclear mishap along with the general chaos and mayhem. A boat might also be useful in case of a flood, although I don't think a flood is likely because God specifically said he wouldn't pull that one again. Finally, don't forget the most important and most basic items: food, emergency water, first aid, etc. Think through each step of the armageddon and prepare yourself accordingly. Will you need a tent? A flashlight? The power is apt to go out with all the madness and no one around to keep it running. Also, if you're not a fan of living rough, I'd think about a very large supply of toilet paper. You can never be too prepared, and remember, we don't know what's gonna happen, so think of everything.
Now, if for some reason you don't believe in the coming armageddon, it shouldn't be too hard to convince you. I mean, it's already started. You want a list of all the major disasters, natural and otherwise, that have happened in the past few years and are still happening now? Here you go (it's not in exact order):

• the tsunami in Thailand
• the earthquake in Haiti and the one in Chile a week later
• the flooding in Australia
• the earthquake in New Zealand
• the earthquake and tsunami in Japan
• the tornadoes in the South
• the rebellions in the Middle East
• Hurricane Irene
• the earthquake on the East Coast- keep in mind that the east coast doesn't usually get earthquakes
• lots and lots of other, smaller disasters over the past few years

SO. If that's not enough to convince you, then you can just stay unprepared until December 21st, 2012, and end up dying just like the rest of the world.