Vonce Zere Vas Ze Boy.

Vonce upon a time, zere vas a leetle boy named, Ze Boy. Ze Boy had no family, and no friends, and no von vas zere to give heem a name, and so, he vas, Ze Boy. He alvays vundered how he vas born, but zere vas no von to tell heem. So, von day, Ze Boy vas valking in ze streets of ze leetle Deutschland town he leeved in. All ze people who saw him looked at heem vis deegust, because, he vas a dirty hobo child. Eenstead of being a nice people, and geeving him a home or a food or a drinks, zey yelled at heem and shook zeir fists. Zey said, "Oh, Ze Boy, you dirty leetle hobo child! Vhy do you ruin ze sights of our nice leetle Deutschland town vis your grubby leetle face?" And Ze Boy turned his grubby leetle face in shame and sadness, for he had no reply. He vas very hungry, but no von fed him. He vas very tirsty, but no von drank him or gave him dranks. He very much vanted a home, but no von homed him. And so Ze Boy vandered ze streets all ze day.
Von day, somesing extraordinary happened. Ze Boy vas looking in ze garbage for ze food or ze dranks, but he did not find anysing. As he began to valk avay sadly, he somesing shiny out of ze corner of ze eye. He turned hees grubby leetle face to see vhat it might be. He saw zat it was steeking out of ze corner of ze garbage, een a place vere he did not see before. He rummaged in ze garbage to grab ze shiny sing, but ven he tried to pool it out, it was beeg and heavy. He pooled vis all hees might, but he could not get it out. So, he tried to tip ze garbage. Ven zat did not vork, he deecided zere vas only von sing to do. He climbed eento ze garbage, and tried to deeg it out from zere. But ven he rummaged srough ze garbage to see vat ze shiny sing vas, he saw zat it vas a beeg metal tube. He vundered how it vas so shiny, ven it vas in a garbage, but he deecided it must have some kind of non-stick, non-stain qualities. He looked inside ze tube, but all he could see vas darkness. "Zat's veird..." he said, and vas surprised ven hees voice echoed, as eef ze tube vas very deep. He vundered briefly if perhaps zere vas somesing valuable at ze bottom. Ze rational part of heem asked, 'Vhy, Ze Boy, vould zere be anysing valuable at ze bottom of ze metal tube zat you found in ze garbage?' but Ze Boy paid no attention to ze rational part of heem, and proceeded to clamber into ze tube. As soon as he let go of ze side, expecting to drop the few inches to vere ze tube met ze bottom of ze garbage, but to heez surprise and panic he began to fall as if from a very large cliff. He yelled out, but hees voice echoed meaninglessly from ze sides of ze tube; no von could hear him, and if zey could, no von vould care. Zen, just as suddenly as eet had happened, Ze Boy stopped falling. He vas on ze ground as eef he had not just fallen vhat must have been hundreds of feet. He got to hees feet, brushed heemself off, and looked around. Deespite ze fact zat he had looked into ze tube and seen nossing but darkness, ze area zat he vas in showed a beeg light coming from a leetle beet avay. Ze Boy valked toward ze vight, unteel he found heemself in a large archvay zat led to a brightly lit forest. Ze Boy vundered vat vas going on.