I left you with a scene of despair and hopelessness- how could we possibly hope to escape this? Now, we return to the same scene, but focus on some of the individual people. Us three (me, Meaghan, and Jennifer) are huddled in a circle discussing the circumstances and how crazy they are. We are scared but trying not to think about the brutality of the situation, and trying instead to see the humor in it (we're succeeding). We find that if we don't think about the bad things, we are able to get through it easier, and we focus now on how we're going to get out of the shed to find food, water, and a more permanent and safe shelter. A little to the right of us, Kaity, Annie and Ellen are grouped. Annie is crying, and Ellen is comforting her. Kaity, being Kaity, is laughing and making inappropriate Kaity jokes about zombies and sex. Luckily, instead of being mad at her for being so insensitive, Annie laughs through her tears and eventually stops crying. (Though she has every right to, as everyone we know, besides the people in this shed, is probably either dead or a rabid brain-eating zombie monster) Around the shed are various other people we know, including John, who is standing with two other creepy anime-type people including Zakk; Chad, who spots me and starts to walk over; Andrew, who is talking to his german friends and looking worried as the one girl, Jenna, starts to cry in the arms of her creepy boyfriend dude; Dan, who is with the people he's usually with and sitting silently on one of the benches, most likely thinking that this zombie apocalypse is far more terrible than any of the video games he's played, and despite what he would have liked to think, the games have in no way prepared him for this; Shelby and Juliana, who are comforting a crying Shannon and Laura; Backpack Kid aka Derek who has let down his cool "I'm the backpack kid" outside for once and is breathing heavily and speaking to no one; Nick from our french class, who is lying on the ground staring blankly at the ceiling; and Anna from our french class, who is cryng hysterically and lashing out at anyone who tries to comfort her (her boyfriend was, as we so unfortunately witnessed, one of the ten zombies who escaped, killed the others and ate their brains, and proceeded to infect as many people around Chanhassen as possible). Suddenly there is a particularly violent banging on the outside of the shed, right next to us three, and the entire shed jumps. There is now a dent where the banging was. This incident has increased the tenseness of the shed's atmosphere considerably.
We have now been sitting in the shed for close to twenty-five minutes, with no one speaking directly to the whole group or presenting a solution to our desperate situation. Luckily, Matt Tyson, being the leader that he is, stands up on a bench and addresses the people in the shed. Everyone, including the teachers, falls silent and turns to listen. Matt announces that he thinks we should go to St. Hubert's school. He explains that the school is located on the lower level of the church, and therefore is less likely to have been invaded by the zombies. When one of the chinese kids asks "What about the zombie students?", Matt tells us that the St. Hubert's school year already ended, and there are no students present today. Another reason he thinks we should go there is because they have a cafeteria that is no doubt stocked with plenty of food, and we can all stay in one of the many classrooms of the school, in the section that has large double doors blocking every entrance. There is a general murmur of agreement, and this seems to be our plan until one asl kid points out the most obvious flaw in the idea: how we will get there. Matt pauses, and the room is momentarily silent as once again we plummet into despair. A moment later, a quiet voice is heard through the silence: the voice of Bryson, the Mormon kid in asl: "There was a bus." As he utters this statement,we realize he was right; there had been a bus parked in the parking lot behind the school, we just hadn't noticed it in our panic. Now the only question left was how to get to the bus through the football field that was no doubt swarming with zombies. As a group, we brainstorm and piece together as many weapons as we can. A few of the extremely sketchy kids have pocket knives, which we give to those who will feel comfortable using them to kill zombies. The stronger guys work together to lift the benches out of the floor; we will use these as battering rams to surround the entire group when we make our way across the field. Backpack Kid aka Derek has some metal pipes from his engineering class in his backpack, which we will use to hit the zombies, hopefully hard enough to kill them. We sort out the kids who have any kind of martial arts experience, as they are chosen to be on the outside of the pack and use their skills to kill the zombies in any way they can (this includes Meaghan). Jill my old neighbor from the asl class notices some poles used in track for pole vaulting that are mounted on the wall, and we quickly take those down to use as well. Finally, we're ready. We assume our position as a mass of about 85 students surrounded by benches, and slowly open the door to the shed and step out.
We notice the zombies before they notice us. They are people that we know, and the three of us spot Alexa right away, knawing on what looks like a live crow. As soon as the entire group is outside, half of us see loved ones, whether they're friends, siblings, or cousins, and, out of instinct, break from our group and run to them. I think that most likely, they can't believe that their sister or best friend would actually attack them, zombie or not, and they run to try to embrace them or convince them that deep down they really are human. Unfortunately, they are zombies, not humans, and the thirty-five or so people that so foolishly believed otherwise are almost immediately infected by the people they so love. Our group is cut in half, and the rest of us quickly move together to fill the gaps caused by those who left. By now, the zombies have obviously noticed us, and one by one, begin to attack. We use our crude weapons to knock them down as we break into a run, struggling to keep our enclosed group together. We reach the sidewalk leading up to the school, and Reid, who is in the back, slams the gate shut behind us. Regrettably, we are not out of harm's way yet. There is still a scattering of zombies along the path up to the school, and they begin to move, almost as one, toward us. Despite the horror of the situation, Jennifer and I, who are in almost the center of the group as we have no fighting skills whatsoever, laugh as we see our English teacher, clothes tattered and teeth bared, gallavant toward us with a wild look on her face. She is soon knocked down by one of the chinese kids wielding a vaulting pole. We have reached the tennis courts. We have to move around them, as we can't go too close to the still burning school. Luckily there aren't too many zombies around the school, as most of the students were killed in the bombing (the few hundred that survived had already been turned into zombies and escaped before the military reached the school). We manage to make it to the bus, where we almost kill each other trying to squeeze onto it. We keep our weapons with us. Matt, being the calmest and most rational, is appointed the driver, and we all huddle near the front of the bus as he starts it (the keys were already in it, as the driver had been inside until he was infected) and begins the perilous journey to St. Huberts.
There are few zombies along Lyman, and the few that are present can't hope to make into our bus, as it is much too high and driving too fast for them to reach. As we drive, we look around to see who made it out of the shed. This is who it is [french kids first, then asl, then chinese, then german]: me, Jennifer, Meaghan, Kaity, Ellen, Kate, Shelby, Juliana, Laura, Alison, Nick D, Nick E, Adam (aka Joachim), Maheen, Reid, Matt, Zakk, Thomas B, Jack D aka Jacques, Jennifer S (from french 3), Sophie (I don't remember her real name. She has short hair and is in french 3), Daria, Callie, Gabe, Olivia, and the french teacher, Chad, Jill, Julia J, Bryson, Derek, an asl kid that I've seen but don't know the name of, John (the creeper), Celeste's daughter whose name I forget, three chinese kids that we don't know at all, Annie, McCallain, Julia K, Ryan R, Dan, that random kid he always hangs out with, Andrew, Jenna M, her boyfriend, that Ryan kid with the weird L last name, and two random german kids we don't know, and the german teacher. There are 48 of us.
We take Lyman to Jennifer's neighborhood, where the doors of the houses are torn off and windows are broken (sorry Jennifer). Luckily, Jennifer tells Meaghan and I that her parents were visiting in Katie in Mankato, where she has a temporary apartment since she just graduated college, and therefore are probably safe. (you either have to go with that or your parents are dead.) Speaking of parents, Meaghan says, her dad is on a trip to Chicago with Andrew to see a Cubs game, and her mom is on a day trip to the Mayo clinic in Rochester on business. I tell the two of you that my dad is also away on business at the Oracle headquarters in California, my sister is visiting her friend Phoebe who moved away to New Jersey, and Ali is on a field trip, on which my mom is a chaperone, to an observatory in St. Cloud. Satisfied that each of our immediate families is safe, we relax just a little.
Once we have traveled through Jennifer's neighborhood and reached St. Huberts, we quickly and quietly unload off the bus and sneak into the church's back entrance. The church is deserted and eerily quiet. Matt, who is now, I guess, the leader, sends half of us, including us three, upstairs to collect all the food from the kitchen upstairs, while the other half starts to secure the classrooms that will soon be our shelter.
Will there be enough food for the 48 of us? Will our shelter be secure enough? Will the zombies attack us? Will this nightmare ever end? Find out in Part 3.
Monday, May 30, 2011
What A Real Zombie Apocalypse Would Be Like (Part 1)
So, everyone, being the selfish creatures that we are, assumes that if there were ever a zombie apolcalypse, we would be fighting zombies and hiding out and blah blah blah. And notice how the assumption is always that we aren't the zombies? That *we* never get infected, it's always other people? Well, not to be a debbie downer, but somebody has to be the zombie. We can't all be the heroes who fight our way to the military sanctuary in California or something. Chances are, the majority of us would be infected, and we would be the ones getting shot with the machine gun that said heroes mysteriously acquired.
However, in the unlikely case that we are part of the select few that have managed to escape zombification, this is how it all would go down:
***disclaimer*** this is just a hypothetical imaginative little deal. i dont want a zombie apocalypse to happen, and i'm not threatening the school with a bomb or anything. so if a teacher or administrator somehow finds this, because we all know you like to stick your noses in EVERYBODY's business, just hold your little horses cuz i'm not making a threat, im just sayin some stuff. don't go getting all offended and punish me. let's go with, i'm practicing my writing skills. okay? okay. glad we're clear.
First of all, I must explain how we managed to escape the horrible fate that so many others suffered. So, there we are, sitting in seventh hour on the fourth to last day of school (that's a monday). Now, I know, obviously, that June sixth is not any of the predicted days that the world is supposed to end, but it fits my story, so go with it. Suddenly, there's a gas leak. The pipe that has the leak happens to be one that spans the length of that section of classrooms (the french room, the asl room, the chinese room and the german room). This means that these four classes must evacuate IMMEDIATELY, before the rest of the school even has time to react, because we are in the most danger. (Poisonous carbon monoxide is pouring into our classrooms) Just as our classes exit the building through the stairs that lead to the bus area, a giant explosion is heard from the southwest side of the school. (The sophomore hallway, near the science classrooms.) The four classes immediately erupt into panic, but the teachers somehow manage to herd us to the far side of the parking lot, near the fence, where we begin moving to the right, towards the football field. Just then, another explosion is heard, and we look up just in time to see what would normally be the theater erupt into a mass of flame and oily black smoke. Suddenly, we see what look like military planes overhead, dropping two more bombs onto the freshman/junior area, and the gym. Before we have time to react, our school is destroyed. Soon enough, we see the reason for this brutal attack. Running out of the smoke and ruin like wild animals, we see about twenty students. They are on all fours, and from our position we can just make out what looks like foam coming from their mouths. Suddenly they all stand up and begin to attack each other in a bloody, manic fight to the death. When half of them have established their power over the other half (that now lay dead in the parking lot), they proceed to eat their brains, and then return to all fours and run down the road toward Lyman. We realize that, standing in the open, we are in imminent danger, and so, as a group, we run down to that shed where the football team hangs out during halftime and such at the games. Once the doors are sealed closed, we can finally stop, sit on whatever surface is nearest (for most of us the floor) and take into account the situation.
***background*** Although we don't know this yet, we will find out soon via smartphones and the internet, and I'll just tell you now, as I'm just relaying this information hypothetically and it's easier to just know what's going on than be left wondering. Through some strange and unexplainable phenomenon, one of the students at our school, at 2:27 on June sixth, went crazy and became a zombie. It was a junior (told you the juniors were sketchy). There she was, sitting in her AP government class (which is in the sophomore hallway)watching Forrest Gump (as the AP classes had already taken their finals), when all of a sudden she jumped onto her desk, mouth foaming, and attacked another classmate. As soon as she sank her now razor-sharp teeth into the students arm, the student began acting exactly as she did. The teacher, in a panic, hid under her desk, called 911 and reported "an out-of control student". However, once she had described the actions of the two students (who were now working on infecting the rest of the class, some of which had escaped to other classrooms nearby so as to infect as many people as possible), the 911 operator knew right away exactly what kind of situation she had on her hands. The operator dialed a special military code, prepared for such emergencies, and alerted an army general of a zombie emergency at a high school in the suburbs of Minneapolis. The army, prepared for any situation, no matter how unlikely, went straight to their Zombie Apolcalypse Prevention plan, and within ten minutes, had blown up the the school so as to stop the spread of the 'disease'.
Unfortunately, the ten infected zombies that had escaped were the one flaw in the otherwise perfectly executed plan. Once they reach Lyman, they jump on cars moving at speeds as high as fifty miles per hour, rip open the windshields and infect the people inside within twenty seconds. It isn't long before the entire town is infected, save for a few people who heard what was happening and hid in their basement with the doors locked and sprayed lemon juice all over the rest of the house to hide the smell of their yummy human flesh.
So here we are, our french class, the asl class, the chinese class, and the german class, hiding in this shed, and we can hear zombies outside on the football field killing each other and sometimes banging on the outside of the shed. Luckily, they're not smart enough to even try to open the door, and the shed is made of metal that's too heavy for the zombies to rip open. (by the way, just to give you a better feel for the situation, imagine high schoolers and how scary some of them are. now imagine them as zombies, wanting to rip you apart and eat your brains. yeah, scary.) A few of the girls who are weak at heart are already crying (I'll let you imagine for yourself who they are), and everybody is pale faced and silent. The teachers, who gave up even trying to do anything, are standing perfectly still and staring at the wall.
Now, what will we do? How will we escape this shed to find food and water? Who, besides us, is okay? What of our family, and the rest of our friends? Where will we be safe? These questions and more are answered in part 2, which will come later today or tomorrow or something. Or never, if I'm too lazy to write it and think of something better.
However, in the unlikely case that we are part of the select few that have managed to escape zombification, this is how it all would go down:
***disclaimer*** this is just a hypothetical imaginative little deal. i dont want a zombie apocalypse to happen, and i'm not threatening the school with a bomb or anything. so if a teacher or administrator somehow finds this, because we all know you like to stick your noses in EVERYBODY's business, just hold your little horses cuz i'm not making a threat, im just sayin some stuff. don't go getting all offended and punish me. let's go with, i'm practicing my writing skills. okay? okay. glad we're clear.
First of all, I must explain how we managed to escape the horrible fate that so many others suffered. So, there we are, sitting in seventh hour on the fourth to last day of school (that's a monday). Now, I know, obviously, that June sixth is not any of the predicted days that the world is supposed to end, but it fits my story, so go with it. Suddenly, there's a gas leak. The pipe that has the leak happens to be one that spans the length of that section of classrooms (the french room, the asl room, the chinese room and the german room). This means that these four classes must evacuate IMMEDIATELY, before the rest of the school even has time to react, because we are in the most danger. (Poisonous carbon monoxide is pouring into our classrooms) Just as our classes exit the building through the stairs that lead to the bus area, a giant explosion is heard from the southwest side of the school. (The sophomore hallway, near the science classrooms.) The four classes immediately erupt into panic, but the teachers somehow manage to herd us to the far side of the parking lot, near the fence, where we begin moving to the right, towards the football field. Just then, another explosion is heard, and we look up just in time to see what would normally be the theater erupt into a mass of flame and oily black smoke. Suddenly, we see what look like military planes overhead, dropping two more bombs onto the freshman/junior area, and the gym. Before we have time to react, our school is destroyed. Soon enough, we see the reason for this brutal attack. Running out of the smoke and ruin like wild animals, we see about twenty students. They are on all fours, and from our position we can just make out what looks like foam coming from their mouths. Suddenly they all stand up and begin to attack each other in a bloody, manic fight to the death. When half of them have established their power over the other half (that now lay dead in the parking lot), they proceed to eat their brains, and then return to all fours and run down the road toward Lyman. We realize that, standing in the open, we are in imminent danger, and so, as a group, we run down to that shed where the football team hangs out during halftime and such at the games. Once the doors are sealed closed, we can finally stop, sit on whatever surface is nearest (for most of us the floor) and take into account the situation.
***background*** Although we don't know this yet, we will find out soon via smartphones and the internet, and I'll just tell you now, as I'm just relaying this information hypothetically and it's easier to just know what's going on than be left wondering. Through some strange and unexplainable phenomenon, one of the students at our school, at 2:27 on June sixth, went crazy and became a zombie. It was a junior (told you the juniors were sketchy). There she was, sitting in her AP government class (which is in the sophomore hallway)watching Forrest Gump (as the AP classes had already taken their finals), when all of a sudden she jumped onto her desk, mouth foaming, and attacked another classmate. As soon as she sank her now razor-sharp teeth into the students arm, the student began acting exactly as she did. The teacher, in a panic, hid under her desk, called 911 and reported "an out-of control student". However, once she had described the actions of the two students (who were now working on infecting the rest of the class, some of which had escaped to other classrooms nearby so as to infect as many people as possible), the 911 operator knew right away exactly what kind of situation she had on her hands. The operator dialed a special military code, prepared for such emergencies, and alerted an army general of a zombie emergency at a high school in the suburbs of Minneapolis. The army, prepared for any situation, no matter how unlikely, went straight to their Zombie Apolcalypse Prevention plan, and within ten minutes, had blown up the the school so as to stop the spread of the 'disease'.
Unfortunately, the ten infected zombies that had escaped were the one flaw in the otherwise perfectly executed plan. Once they reach Lyman, they jump on cars moving at speeds as high as fifty miles per hour, rip open the windshields and infect the people inside within twenty seconds. It isn't long before the entire town is infected, save for a few people who heard what was happening and hid in their basement with the doors locked and sprayed lemon juice all over the rest of the house to hide the smell of their yummy human flesh.
So here we are, our french class, the asl class, the chinese class, and the german class, hiding in this shed, and we can hear zombies outside on the football field killing each other and sometimes banging on the outside of the shed. Luckily, they're not smart enough to even try to open the door, and the shed is made of metal that's too heavy for the zombies to rip open. (by the way, just to give you a better feel for the situation, imagine high schoolers and how scary some of them are. now imagine them as zombies, wanting to rip you apart and eat your brains. yeah, scary.) A few of the girls who are weak at heart are already crying (I'll let you imagine for yourself who they are), and everybody is pale faced and silent. The teachers, who gave up even trying to do anything, are standing perfectly still and staring at the wall.
Now, what will we do? How will we escape this shed to find food and water? Who, besides us, is okay? What of our family, and the rest of our friends? Where will we be safe? These questions and more are answered in part 2, which will come later today or tomorrow or something. Or never, if I'm too lazy to write it and think of something better.
Friday, May 27, 2011
theres really nothing to say that i havent said already.
so. its friday night, my friends left, and im sitting in the basement listening to disney songs staring at a computer screen by myself. on the bright side, im not eating. this is my life. why cant it be summer? if it was summer i'd be outside. i have a lot of homework this weekend because the teachers are piling it all on before school ends. see? i've said all of this before.
oh. well i do have some news. not that its really news. but i did talk to the you know who today. it was another one of those pathetic exchanges of dialogue but hey i have nothing to talk about so. it went something like this:
"do you guys care if i play the piano in here?"
"what?"
"do you care if i play the piano?"
"okay" (or some other form of agreement, i dont really remember.)
"cool"
anyway then i attempted to play the piano but 1. i felt awkward and 2. they were playing random music so i just kinda left. i was with emily, by the way.
you know, actually, as i was thinking 'oh yay i get to go to sixth hour band again' today, i actually did think, oh, what if he's in the orchestra room and i go in there and ask if i can play the piano and then play it. i actually did think that. but in my head it went a little differently. it was more, there was no awkward music and i was playing and he was like youre good and then we played the piano together and rode off into the sunset. okay thats not actually how it went in my head, but it was closer to that than to what actually happened. so see? the things i imagine *start out* realistic, and then my imagination goes overboard and imagines things that really are never gonna happen and leave me disappointed. just like when i was trying to figure out what would happen if i sat with him back in like october. it usually ended in 'can i have your number' (but not in the black voice), and not, 'oh youre a drummer are they heavy when you carry them jennifer your bus driver looks like a mountain man.' but, okay, whatever. i'll probably just forget about him this summer. right? hopefully. well not hopefully. idk. WHATEVER.
you know, these last two weeks seriously would go a lotttt faster if we got our yearbooks like this week. i would be a happy camper if we did that. seriously, i wudnt even mind that much if we actually did work in class if we just got the dang things. i want them so bad. so bad.
how high does the sycamore grow?
if you cut it down, then youll never know
and youll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
for whether we are white or copper skinned,
we need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
need to paint with all the colors of the wind
you can own the earth and still,
all youll own is earth until,
you can paint with all the colors of the wind
yep. thats what im listening to. wow, i wonder why guys dont like me. i am suchhhh a fun person. i mean, just look at me right now, out partyin with older attractive people, being all fun and interesting. thats me, always out and about in one place or another, doing normal things with normal people. normal. seriously. like some people sayyy they are losers who have no lives, and really they only say that when theyre inside on the like the one friday night of the month, and the rest of the time theyre out having a social life and they only say theyre a loser so that people will tell them that theyre not. but im serious. i really am a loser. i can accept that.
i am the great stone dragon! i will go forth and fetch mulan! great stone dragon!
know what i hate? when slutty girls put on one of their revealing little shirts and then nerd glasses and take one of their cute little pictures and put it on facebook and make the caption 'nerd ♥' or something annoying like that. im like, youre not a nerd, youre just a slut. frustrating.
okay, imma go forth and fetch mulan now. or something similar. most likely ill actually like go eat food or something. like ice cream. or a spoonful of peanut butter. a spoonful of peanut butter makes the medicine go down. and watch without a trace on my cableless television. man i miss cable. more than you can ever even imagine. i even miss spongebob. which i didnt even like that much ever. but now i want to watch it just because i cant watch it unless i have CABLE. oh, glorious cable. you know, maybe i wont eat food. i feel kinda fat. only, theres that one lone piece of pizza thats sitting on the stove and i know im gonna walk through the kitchen just cuz thats what i do and im gonna see that pizza and im going to eat it. i am. now i want a smoothie. you know, the good thing about being supremely lazy is that you wont even get that fat, cuz even though youre lazy, youre too lazy to even make yourself food, so you wont eat. oh my gosh. oh, my gosh. this is my life. who reads this? jennifer. jennifer reads this. only jennifer. occasionally meaghan. this is my life. thissssssssssssss issssssssssssss myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife. lovely. dear summer, dear sweet, sweet summer, please come soon, please come ever so soon. please. *voice breaks* please. *voice reduced to a pathetic whisper* please...
*hand reaches into distance, then quivers for a bit. cut to black, with the question of whether the hand fell or not lingering in the silent air*
oh. well i do have some news. not that its really news. but i did talk to the you know who today. it was another one of those pathetic exchanges of dialogue but hey i have nothing to talk about so. it went something like this:
"do you guys care if i play the piano in here?"
"what?"
"do you care if i play the piano?"
"okay" (or some other form of agreement, i dont really remember.)
"cool"
anyway then i attempted to play the piano but 1. i felt awkward and 2. they were playing random music so i just kinda left. i was with emily, by the way.
you know, actually, as i was thinking 'oh yay i get to go to sixth hour band again' today, i actually did think, oh, what if he's in the orchestra room and i go in there and ask if i can play the piano and then play it. i actually did think that. but in my head it went a little differently. it was more, there was no awkward music and i was playing and he was like youre good and then we played the piano together and rode off into the sunset. okay thats not actually how it went in my head, but it was closer to that than to what actually happened. so see? the things i imagine *start out* realistic, and then my imagination goes overboard and imagines things that really are never gonna happen and leave me disappointed. just like when i was trying to figure out what would happen if i sat with him back in like october. it usually ended in 'can i have your number' (but not in the black voice), and not, 'oh youre a drummer are they heavy when you carry them jennifer your bus driver looks like a mountain man.' but, okay, whatever. i'll probably just forget about him this summer. right? hopefully. well not hopefully. idk. WHATEVER.
you know, these last two weeks seriously would go a lotttt faster if we got our yearbooks like this week. i would be a happy camper if we did that. seriously, i wudnt even mind that much if we actually did work in class if we just got the dang things. i want them so bad. so bad.
how high does the sycamore grow?
if you cut it down, then youll never know
and youll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
for whether we are white or copper skinned,
we need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
need to paint with all the colors of the wind
you can own the earth and still,
all youll own is earth until,
you can paint with all the colors of the wind
yep. thats what im listening to. wow, i wonder why guys dont like me. i am suchhhh a fun person. i mean, just look at me right now, out partyin with older attractive people, being all fun and interesting. thats me, always out and about in one place or another, doing normal things with normal people. normal. seriously. like some people sayyy they are losers who have no lives, and really they only say that when theyre inside on the like the one friday night of the month, and the rest of the time theyre out having a social life and they only say theyre a loser so that people will tell them that theyre not. but im serious. i really am a loser. i can accept that.
i am the great stone dragon! i will go forth and fetch mulan! great stone dragon!
know what i hate? when slutty girls put on one of their revealing little shirts and then nerd glasses and take one of their cute little pictures and put it on facebook and make the caption 'nerd ♥' or something annoying like that. im like, youre not a nerd, youre just a slut. frustrating.
okay, imma go forth and fetch mulan now. or something similar. most likely ill actually like go eat food or something. like ice cream. or a spoonful of peanut butter. a spoonful of peanut butter makes the medicine go down. and watch without a trace on my cableless television. man i miss cable. more than you can ever even imagine. i even miss spongebob. which i didnt even like that much ever. but now i want to watch it just because i cant watch it unless i have CABLE. oh, glorious cable. you know, maybe i wont eat food. i feel kinda fat. only, theres that one lone piece of pizza thats sitting on the stove and i know im gonna walk through the kitchen just cuz thats what i do and im gonna see that pizza and im going to eat it. i am. now i want a smoothie. you know, the good thing about being supremely lazy is that you wont even get that fat, cuz even though youre lazy, youre too lazy to even make yourself food, so you wont eat. oh my gosh. oh, my gosh. this is my life. who reads this? jennifer. jennifer reads this. only jennifer. occasionally meaghan. this is my life. thissssssssssssss issssssssssssss myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife. lovely. dear summer, dear sweet, sweet summer, please come soon, please come ever so soon. please. *voice breaks* please. *voice reduced to a pathetic whisper* please...
*hand reaches into distance, then quivers for a bit. cut to black, with the question of whether the hand fell or not lingering in the silent air*
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
i want a disney romance.
i want some random hot street boy to become a prince just to impress me, and then fly around the world on a magic carpet with him. i want to dance around the woods singing and then have an attractive guy from my childhood to suddenly be dancing and singing with me. i want to go on a romantic boat ride through the reeds at twilight with a guy that doesnt even know my name but still likes me while marsh animals sing discreetly for him to kiss me and i sit there and don't even have to say anything. i want some extremely muscular dude to go to the underworld and then give up his powers for me. i want to walk through the jungle in africa with my long-lost childhood friend and fall in love with him. why dont these things happen in real life?! come on.
there, you see her, sitting there across the way.
she dont got a lot to say, but theres something about her.
and you dont know why, but youre dyin to try you wanna, kiss the girl.
yes, you want her. look at her, you know you do.
it's possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her.
it don't take a word, not a single word, go on and, kiss the girl.
...shalalalalala my oh my, look at the boy too shy, he ain't gonna kiss the girl.
shalalalalala ain't that sad, ain't it a shame, too bad, you gonna, miss the girl.
now's your moment, floating in a blue lagoon.
boy you better do it soon, no time will be better.
she don't say a word, and she won't say a word, until you, kiss the girl.
shalalalalala don't be scared, you got the mood prepared, go on and, kiss the girl.
shalalalalala don't stop now, don't try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the girl.
shalalalalala float along, listen to the song, the song say, kiss the girl.
shalalalalala music play, do what the music play, you wanna, kiss the girl.
see? don't you want that to be you? and ariel's only like 14 or 15 or something. maybe even thirteen. she's super young. anyway. now that i made you depressed, bye.
there, you see her, sitting there across the way.
she dont got a lot to say, but theres something about her.
and you dont know why, but youre dyin to try you wanna, kiss the girl.
yes, you want her. look at her, you know you do.
it's possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her.
it don't take a word, not a single word, go on and, kiss the girl.
...shalalalalala my oh my, look at the boy too shy, he ain't gonna kiss the girl.
shalalalalala ain't that sad, ain't it a shame, too bad, you gonna, miss the girl.
now's your moment, floating in a blue lagoon.
boy you better do it soon, no time will be better.
she don't say a word, and she won't say a word, until you, kiss the girl.
shalalalalala don't be scared, you got the mood prepared, go on and, kiss the girl.
shalalalalala don't stop now, don't try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the girl.
shalalalalala float along, listen to the song, the song say, kiss the girl.
shalalalalala music play, do what the music play, you wanna, kiss the girl.
see? don't you want that to be you? and ariel's only like 14 or 15 or something. maybe even thirteen. she's super young. anyway. now that i made you depressed, bye.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
eleven days, and a crapload of work.
as in, a french project, five days worth of french homework (where did that even come from?!) a venn diagram for history (dont worry, i used my late pass), a math test, and a chemistry test. oh and, i almost forgot. a persuasive speech. how exciting. on the bright side, it'll all be over very soon. and then it will be summer and i wont worry about any of this crap for three long glorious months. i went to sixth hour band today. did anything happen? no. does anything ever happen? no. should i stop talking about it? yes. should i give up? yes. will i give up? no. should i stop asking questions and then answering them? yes. will i? no. am i annoying you? yes. does that matter to me? no. are you gonna stop reading? no. do you want to stop reading? yes. but will you? no. okay im done. hahaha you were annoyed. oh gosh i have no life. i also have a headache from playing goldeneye for like three hours. and now im staring at a screen again. not helping the headache. im gonna download some music now. someone text me. i need a life. agh.
Monday, May 16, 2011
my procrastinating, *explained*
okay, you all might think im just a slacker and i dont do any work. and while this may be true frequently, you must be sure to not always jump to unnecessary conclusions. because, for example, today, i am procrastinating for a reason. i have three days to construct 40 notecards about how war doesnt solve any problems. and for those of you that arent good at math, 40 divided by three results in an awkward and annoying number. buttttt, 40 divided by 2 is a nice number: twenty. so. i shall do my notecards tomorrow, therefore resulting in i will do twenty tomorrow and twenty on wednesday andddd, problem solved! nice easy number! so see, its not really procrastinating, its problem solving! see?! how smart am i.
on another and slightly more interesting note, we only have SEVENTEEN days of school left! SEVENTEEN. that is a number that you can count to in a very short amount of time watch onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineteneleventwelvethirteenfourteenfifteensixteenSEVENTEENSCHOOLS OVER see how short that was?! so, even though teachers are being cruel and unusual and giving us like three months' worth of work in our final three weeks, however bad it all may seem now, just know that in seventeen short short short days, it will all be over. well, twenty-four real days. but seventeen days of going there and doing crap. so relax yoselves. we're almost there.
okay. order of business numero tres. sadie hawkinssssssss. as much as i really really want to go, unfortunately there is really no one that i even want to ask. besides, you know. and i told jennifer that i was gonna be like hey! hey you! wanna go to sadie hawkins with me? just in the middle of the hallway, but really, is that going to happen? lets be real here. probably not. which is the sad truth of my life. i mean, i would do it. i would. if i even remotely talked to him. if it was that mormon kid that hangs out with chad, whom i've said a small amount of words to, then i would do it. i mean, if it was that situation. but no. chad obviously doesnt talk to this kid when im around for a reason, therefore resulting in NO OPPORTUNITIES. *frustration* cuz if i had like any opportunity at all i would do it. if it wasnt the baseball season and he like rode the bus oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh. you know, the baseball season ends. before sadie hawkins. meaning, there will be, ahem, people, ahem, ON THE BUS. so what if, i went on said bus and asked said people to sadie hawkins. WHAT IF. would i be able to? no. i was shaking last time when all i had to do was casually sit with him. but what if i just sucked it up and was like hey can i sit with you and then awkwardly sat there and then was like 'heydoyouwannagotosadiehawkinswithme? i know i dont really know you, but...' and hope he is a spontaneous lets-go-to-a-dance-with-this-random-crazy-chick-on-the-bus kinda person? which i doubt. but honestly? who can say no. unless theyre absolutely repulsive or extremely annoying which i hope im not. you cant just be like no. can you? unless, you dont know the person and have never uttered a word to them except random conversations about band and cymbals and ketchup dispensers. then maybe you could. other opportunities: band rehearsals if we have one during sixth hour. band concert next week. (then again, in that situation there would be other people in close proximity that could hear my potential failure and proceeding utter embarassment. come to think of it, what if he does say no? im spending all this time freaking out about asking him even though i dont even know him, when what if i get all that courage and actually ask him and then he said no? what would i feel like? crap. i seriously think i would cry. like not even joking. i would. later, anyway. and what would i even say? i'd be like, 'oh, okay...that makes sense...since i dont even know you...' and he'd be like uh, yeah. this girl is even more of a freak than i thought. plus, there goes all other chances of, anything pretty much, since from then on im the random freshman that asked him to sadie hawkins. for the next two years. and no chance. dude. this is a bigger risk than i ever even anticipated.) what if i like, gave him a note with the url to this blog? and then he'd go on here and read the first two paragraphs and be like what the heck but then he'd read this paragraph and get it and then he would understand and fall madly in love with me (okay, this is all theoretical okay) and comment and be like yeah sure i'll go. all nonchalant-like. i dunno. this is obviously a lot of rambling, but i really have never liked anyone this long without it going anywhere (positive or negative) and i really need to just do something about it and this dance deal is pretty much my last chance this year and if i dont do something then i'll like him all summer long and it will be boring and pointless (like usual) and next year will be exactly the same. exactly. the same. anyway. i think i'll be done. tell me what to do, cuz decisions are obviously not my strength. well, bye.
on another and slightly more interesting note, we only have SEVENTEEN days of school left! SEVENTEEN. that is a number that you can count to in a very short amount of time watch onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineteneleventwelvethirteenfourteenfifteensixteenSEVENTEENSCHOOLS OVER see how short that was?! so, even though teachers are being cruel and unusual and giving us like three months' worth of work in our final three weeks, however bad it all may seem now, just know that in seventeen short short short days, it will all be over. well, twenty-four real days. but seventeen days of going there and doing crap. so relax yoselves. we're almost there.
okay. order of business numero tres. sadie hawkinssssssss. as much as i really really want to go, unfortunately there is really no one that i even want to ask. besides, you know. and i told jennifer that i was gonna be like hey! hey you! wanna go to sadie hawkins with me? just in the middle of the hallway, but really, is that going to happen? lets be real here. probably not. which is the sad truth of my life. i mean, i would do it. i would. if i even remotely talked to him. if it was that mormon kid that hangs out with chad, whom i've said a small amount of words to, then i would do it. i mean, if it was that situation. but no. chad obviously doesnt talk to this kid when im around for a reason, therefore resulting in NO OPPORTUNITIES. *frustration* cuz if i had like any opportunity at all i would do it. if it wasnt the baseball season and he like rode the bus oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh. you know, the baseball season ends. before sadie hawkins. meaning, there will be, ahem, people, ahem, ON THE BUS. so what if, i went on said bus and asked said people to sadie hawkins. WHAT IF. would i be able to? no. i was shaking last time when all i had to do was casually sit with him. but what if i just sucked it up and was like hey can i sit with you and then awkwardly sat there and then was like 'heydoyouwannagotosadiehawkinswithme? i know i dont really know you, but...' and hope he is a spontaneous lets-go-to-a-dance-with-this-random-crazy-chick-on-the-bus kinda person? which i doubt. but honestly? who can say no. unless theyre absolutely repulsive or extremely annoying which i hope im not. you cant just be like no. can you? unless, you dont know the person and have never uttered a word to them except random conversations about band and cymbals and ketchup dispensers. then maybe you could. other opportunities: band rehearsals if we have one during sixth hour. band concert next week. (then again, in that situation there would be other people in close proximity that could hear my potential failure and proceeding utter embarassment. come to think of it, what if he does say no? im spending all this time freaking out about asking him even though i dont even know him, when what if i get all that courage and actually ask him and then he said no? what would i feel like? crap. i seriously think i would cry. like not even joking. i would. later, anyway. and what would i even say? i'd be like, 'oh, okay...that makes sense...since i dont even know you...' and he'd be like uh, yeah. this girl is even more of a freak than i thought. plus, there goes all other chances of, anything pretty much, since from then on im the random freshman that asked him to sadie hawkins. for the next two years. and no chance. dude. this is a bigger risk than i ever even anticipated.) what if i like, gave him a note with the url to this blog? and then he'd go on here and read the first two paragraphs and be like what the heck but then he'd read this paragraph and get it and then he would understand and fall madly in love with me (okay, this is all theoretical okay) and comment and be like yeah sure i'll go. all nonchalant-like. i dunno. this is obviously a lot of rambling, but i really have never liked anyone this long without it going anywhere (positive or negative) and i really need to just do something about it and this dance deal is pretty much my last chance this year and if i dont do something then i'll like him all summer long and it will be boring and pointless (like usual) and next year will be exactly the same. exactly. the same. anyway. i think i'll be done. tell me what to do, cuz decisions are obviously not my strength. well, bye.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
1 Track. 10 Miles. 0 Hours of Sleep.
Yep. It's true. I walked ten miles. That's forty laps around the track at chs. No one actually had someone from their team on the track at all times, and by two am there was pretty much no one there, maybe like a hundred people. or fifty or something. Anyway, my legs were dead and by 6 in the morning I was at the point where if I stood in place for too long I started falling asleep on my feet, but it's all good cuz I came home and slept. Anyway. Lots of things to say about relay for life.
In the beginning, during the ceremony deal, this kid named andrew who I happened to know (yes its the andrew youre thinking of) went up and talked about his brain tumor. And I was like hey i know you. And then also there was this team called the purple potter pals and on their shirts it said the only thing more evil than voldemort is cancer and on the back it said avada kedavra isnt the only thing that kills. And the main girl who was the captain I think had on a gryffindor quidditch robe and it said potter on the back and his number which is 7. And then they did an on-site fundraiser where you pay two dollars to go into this little tent and get sorted! and then you get a pin for the house that you are in. but of course I, being stupid, didn't bring any money, so I didn't get sorted. But emily and grace and lydia did and emily went in there and I told her to go "not slytherin, not slytherin" but instead she went "not hufflepuff, not hufflepuff" but she still got in hufflepuff ahahahah. and so did grace and lydia. but emily wasn't happy with being a hufflepuff so she went back and was like i demand a re-sort. and the girl was like why and she was like because i don't want to be a nothing hufflepuff. and the girl was like, 'well, they ARE particularly good finders' and was I was like you are the coolest person I have ever met. It was awesome. Also, angels on our shoulders played but they actually weren't that good cuz like max paradis was there and he was singing and it didn't sound that great. and then he was there later and he was playing soccer for like 4 hours in the middle of the night. it was a pretty trippy night, i have to say. like, some weird stuff went on. the dj would get super bored and have these random little contest and be like the first person to run up the bleachers and yell my name into the microphone gets a prize. turns out his name was bill. and then he had like a dance contest which was weird, and after he came out and danced, and he was actually really good, except for the fact that his shirt kept coming up and it was not a pretty sight. yeah. it was just weird. and then in the morning there was kind of a closing ceremony except no one stayed and so me louisse and grace just kinda stood by the fence and watched from afar. they just recognized some teams and said chan high raised the most and gave us a trophy and then the person that was supposed to collect the trophy for our school wasnt here so they were like okay anyone from chan just come up and get the dang trophy only not exactly with those words and so andrew went up and got it. and then we went home. oh and, we saw alyssa and chilled with her in her tent with random chaska people for awhile. and i also saw abby right before i left. and other chaska people that I dont care as much about. anyway. then i went home and slept. my legs arent as sore as i thought they would be. they should be more sore. i walked ten miles. whats going on. well, bye.
In the beginning, during the ceremony deal, this kid named andrew who I happened to know (yes its the andrew youre thinking of) went up and talked about his brain tumor. And I was like hey i know you. And then also there was this team called the purple potter pals and on their shirts it said the only thing more evil than voldemort is cancer and on the back it said avada kedavra isnt the only thing that kills. And the main girl who was the captain I think had on a gryffindor quidditch robe and it said potter on the back and his number which is 7. And then they did an on-site fundraiser where you pay two dollars to go into this little tent and get sorted! and then you get a pin for the house that you are in. but of course I, being stupid, didn't bring any money, so I didn't get sorted. But emily and grace and lydia did and emily went in there and I told her to go "not slytherin, not slytherin" but instead she went "not hufflepuff, not hufflepuff" but she still got in hufflepuff ahahahah. and so did grace and lydia. but emily wasn't happy with being a hufflepuff so she went back and was like i demand a re-sort. and the girl was like why and she was like because i don't want to be a nothing hufflepuff. and the girl was like, 'well, they ARE particularly good finders' and was I was like you are the coolest person I have ever met. It was awesome. Also, angels on our shoulders played but they actually weren't that good cuz like max paradis was there and he was singing and it didn't sound that great. and then he was there later and he was playing soccer for like 4 hours in the middle of the night. it was a pretty trippy night, i have to say. like, some weird stuff went on. the dj would get super bored and have these random little contest and be like the first person to run up the bleachers and yell my name into the microphone gets a prize. turns out his name was bill. and then he had like a dance contest which was weird, and after he came out and danced, and he was actually really good, except for the fact that his shirt kept coming up and it was not a pretty sight. yeah. it was just weird. and then in the morning there was kind of a closing ceremony except no one stayed and so me louisse and grace just kinda stood by the fence and watched from afar. they just recognized some teams and said chan high raised the most and gave us a trophy and then the person that was supposed to collect the trophy for our school wasnt here so they were like okay anyone from chan just come up and get the dang trophy only not exactly with those words and so andrew went up and got it. and then we went home. oh and, we saw alyssa and chilled with her in her tent with random chaska people for awhile. and i also saw abby right before i left. and other chaska people that I dont care as much about. anyway. then i went home and slept. my legs arent as sore as i thought they would be. they should be more sore. i walked ten miles. whats going on. well, bye.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
kill me.
so, normally i dont go on here during school, but im in french and i dont really want to do anything, so im super bored and i still have an hour and three minutes left. man im a loser. you know that thing where the teacher can like see whats on your screen from her computer? i hope she cant do that. i doubt it though, because these are laptops which makes them special. just kidding, it makes them suck. i hate these laptops.
speaking of laptops, know how our old laptop broke? well apparently it works now, and my father is giving it to me. except im a little apprehensive because its crashed like seven times and i dont wanna save all my crap on there again and then have it crash and lose it like i did last time cuz that was super annoying and i STILL dont have my pictures back. so idk. that laptop is questionable.
so, there are 19 days of school left. be excited. im so excited for summer. but i still dont have a job. i need a job. like, now. preferably one in excelsior. its 2:00. 60 minutes left. just think of playing mario. that will make it go faster cuz mario always goes fast. i have to pee. but i cant go now because apparently last time was the dernier fois. last time. im gonna google chat with meaghan now so adios. 58 minutes. argh.
speaking of laptops, know how our old laptop broke? well apparently it works now, and my father is giving it to me. except im a little apprehensive because its crashed like seven times and i dont wanna save all my crap on there again and then have it crash and lose it like i did last time cuz that was super annoying and i STILL dont have my pictures back. so idk. that laptop is questionable.
so, there are 19 days of school left. be excited. im so excited for summer. but i still dont have a job. i need a job. like, now. preferably one in excelsior. its 2:00. 60 minutes left. just think of playing mario. that will make it go faster cuz mario always goes fast. i have to pee. but i cant go now because apparently last time was the dernier fois. last time. im gonna google chat with meaghan now so adios. 58 minutes. argh.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)