procrastination [will be the death of me]

okay i'm supposed to be doing an ap chem lab right now but it's halloween and also i keep looking at it and i don't understand it and just just....my brain gets all fuzzy when i try to do it! i can't do it! i'm tired and tomorrow is november which is officially cold and wintery. i am now going to vent, in terms of person 1 and person 2. you can figure out for yourself who they are.

okay so i keep thinking i like person two and then when i'm like hanging out with person two then i do like him. but every time i see person one i get all...whateverish and plus i dont want to give up on liking him but person two is way more realistic and i like the idea of us as a couple but then sometimes im like nahh i dont really like you but then other times im like hmm maybe i do. and obviously nothings gonna happen with person one. but i just cant stop liking him. okay, i know how retarded i sound. cuz you're gonna be like do you know how retarded you sound and the answer is yes, yes i do know how retarded i sound. but i'll continue cuz i am conflicted. actually i dont really have anything else to say. plus i always was telling people that i didnt like person two and then now i do ish kinda and theyre gonna be like ooooh and i'm gonna be like shut yer mouth. but you have no idea how much i actually like person one. like seriously you have no idea. it's the worst thing in the world. it's like that 'the one that got away' thing, you know? like i dont want to stop liking him because then i'll be like what woulda happened....but at the same time its going nowhere and therefore i have to be more realistic. you know, dale liked me for like two and a half years. and he doesnt like me anymore and is perfectly happy dating other people. like, how did he do that? actually i know how he did that, it was because he knew for a fact that i didnt like him, which i dont know for a fact about person one which is the thing that keeps me stuck on him. plus its weird to like person two! like i'm like, whoa, i like him? like, what? that's so weird! but then i do. aghasdflkajsl;dfih;aligha;lksdhf;lakhsd;gilasdflhasdf.

okay i really have to do this lab. i keep going, okay i'm gonna do it now, but then i look at it and the page is all blank and ITS JUST TAUNTING ME. i have to do it by second hour tomorrow. when else am i gonna do it? no other time. so i have to do it now. but i cant. ohmygosh i seriously have issues. like read this frickin post. it's just all my problems. well, not all of them. but all of this post is me complaining about my problems. how sad. how utterly sad. oh well. that's basically what this is for. it's like a public diary where people can comment on my many problems and thoughts. yeah. nothing can go wrong with this idea. good thing barely anyone knows about this.

by the way i went to wills party and his parents are really nice. plus his house is nice wow i sound creepy but seriously all those victoria people have really nice houses and then everywhere else just looks like a frickin dump. actually my house is a dump anyway but i like it because it's a cozy dump. wow what the frick am i talking about. this is like my dbq for history...i wrote it in first hour last week and then i reread it today and i was like what am i talking about in this essay? i think i mighta been at least a third asleep if not half asleep. it's ten thirty and i still have to take a shower and then go to bed and most likely i will read before bed because i have so self control and i wont get to bed til like 12 and then i'll get up at like 6:45 tomorrow and want to die like usual. and tomorrows only tuesday. on the bright side, only 16 more school days until thanksgiving break. then after that is black friday, which i forgot about. my paycheck was only $108 this week. that's actually the lowest it's ever been besides the very first time but that's because i started in the middle of the pay period so it was only $102 but not a full two weeks. anyway. i need to sleep now or tomorrow will suck. actually it'll suck anyway. bye.







by the way, RIP Lily and James and Deathly Hallows Part 2 comes out in 11 days! I tweeted about lily james, but being a retard, i said 20 years when it was supposed to be thirty. fail.

Things You Can Do On Halloween

• go to a party
• go trick or treating
• eat
• egg peoples houses
• cause mischief
• TP peoples houses
• eat candy
• hand out candy
• get arrested
• eat
• dress up in a costume
• have a party
• have a bonfire
• go to a haunted house
• go to trail of terror
• eat food
• go to valleyscare
• eat
• bake cookies
• scare children on the street
• bully children on the street into giving you their candy
• watch scary movies
• tell scary stories
• eat
• bob for apples
• burn things
• sit in your bedroom by yourself
• get haunted
• save countless childrens' souls from being captured and used to make three witches from 1600s salem young again
• go to a graveyard
• roam the streets
• follow the firetruck around
• try not to get arrested
• stand around looking suspicious
• eat
• fork peoples yards
• creep in peoples windows
• smash pumpkins
• trade candy
• organize candy
• sort candy
• obtain candy
• eat
• be cold
• try to stay warm
• dance
• sing halloween songs (he did the monster mash) (he did the mash) (it was a graveyard smash) (he did the mash) (it caught on in a flash) (he did the mash) (he did the monster mash)
• read a scary book
• sleep
• eat

so as you can see (eat) there are many things (eat) to do on halloween, and one of them is eat (eat).

Increasing Frustration

I think it must be hormones or something, but lately my emotions have been like forty times stronger than normal. Like, I don't cry, right? No. I don't cry. It's just a fact of life. But lately I've cried at like everything. It's frickin weird man. And when I'm angry, I'm really, really angry. Also, things that I didn't used to care about or was able to handle set me off way more. Like stupid things make me cry and equally stupid things that most people can get over make me extremely angry. It's not that I'm more sensitive, because I can still handle things better than the average teenager, it's just that I tend to care about things way more than most people. Which I think for now is a good thing. Because people just don't even care about anything anymore. I care about a ton of stuff. Not school though. I honestly think that school is less of a priority than people make it. I mean I understand that it's important to your future and whatnot, but seriously, how important is it to the world that I do this math assignment or whatever? No, I'm better off enjoying life during the few moments when I can. I don't wanna look back and see that I wasted my teenage years with my nose to grindstone. There's no point in using an entire period of time just to prepare for another period of time (ie; college). That whole live in the moment thing? Everybody says they just loooove to live life to the fullest and blahdiblah, but how many of them are actually doing it? None. Yes, it is extremely important to be educated. I'm the first person to say that; I can't stand ignorance. But you also need to just do things. Just go out there and experience the world. I'm not gonna come home and spend every second of the afternoon doing chemistry homework and miss the sun and the leaves and the colors, because fall is my favorite season and enjoying it is a priority, whether other people think it should be or not. I mean, is that what life is about? Always working towards the next step? I work to get good grades so I can get into college so I can get a good job so I can provide for my family so they can be successful and then it's just a big chain. What comes in between? I'm not gonna be fifteen forever. I'll be eighteen before I know it and then I'll go to college and have responsibilities and life is just gonna get harder from here. I thoroughly enjoy being a teenager and I'm not gonna miss it. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that while school is really important, it's not important enough to get in the way of my enjoyment of this moment, right now. Okay?

Easy Like A Sunday Morning

Only this Sunday morning isn't so easy on account of my 'grandparents' are here and they're causing me lots of pain and discomfort. And I really want to take a shower but that means I'll take two showers in one day because I have to take one on Sunday night. Oh well.

Today I have to go to work which sucks, cuz yesterday I didn't go on account of I had terrible cramps. This weekend was supposed to be chill and I was going to rake leaves and whatnot. Stupid grandparents. I really don't want to go to work.

On the bright side, there's only three days of school this week! Which means no block. Cuz block suckss man. I'm so glad we don't have full block like they used to at Chaska. Honestly.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Sophie. Sophie was fourteen years old and lived by herself in an abandoned house in the woods in Idaho. She had run away from home when she was twelve, because her parents had left her as a child and she didn't much like moving from foster home to foster home. For the past two years she had been washing people's cars along the road in exchange for money, which she had used to buy food in the townt that was a mile from her house. She kept her house reasonably clean, taking great care to make sure that the outside still looked sufficiently run-down so that no one suspected that it was inhabited. Sophie didn't go to school, but upon starving herself for a week and a half had raised enough money to buy a decent used computer. She sat in the back of the SuperAmerica, using their free WiFi to become as educated as she could.
The only problem with Sophie's way of life was that she could never get too close to people. As it had been two years since she ran away, there were fewer people looking for her, but she still had to be on the watch for Social Service officers or policemen, even average citizens who might recognize her from the Missing Child posters that had plastered the greater part of Montana, the state from which she had come. Whenever asked, she told people that her name was Hanna, and that her car washing partner had temporarily left for the bathroom (they were, of course, washing cars to raise money for their school's small but growing horsebackriding team). Sophie occasionally met people in town that intrigued her, but she could never have more than polite conversation with them, lest they take interest in her history and attempt to investigate. She had to dye her hair frequently so as not to be recognized by the locals, as the town was quite small.
Her only companion was her cat. Named Shere Khan for his tiger-striped fur, Sophie spentt most of her time talking to him. If she hadn't had something living in which to confide, it is very likely that she'd have gone crazy, blown her cover, and been sent not to a foster home, but instead an asylum.


Okay yeah that was random. Well anyway. I should probably do my homework now or take a shower or something productive (which I probably won't end up doing).

whaddup

Alright I haven't really been on here much recently, but I've been busy okay?! With work and school and band and more school and other craziness. Okay? Plus also every time I get on the computer I'm distracted by twitter. Anyway, I'm here now, so relax. Okay. Things to talk about.

No braces. This is an enjoyable thing. I mean, retainers are annoying and stuff, but whatever, they're not tooth prisons that are impossible to escape from; you can take them out when you want. Getting my braces off has made me quite happy.

PanAm. So since stupid Ion Television aka the only decent channel I have, canceled Ghost Whisperer (which was kinda dumb anyway) and Without A Trace, and possibly Criminal Minds, I no longer had any good shows to watch. So I had to start a new show, one that's actually current and that I can follow week by week. So I chose PanAm, cuz it takes place in the 60s and around the world which is awesome cuz the 60s are the past which is cool. Anyway so far it's proving to be pretty good. Plus it's at 9 on Sundays, so I can watch it without having to worry about missing it for work. I also wanted to watch this show Once Upon A Time, but that's at 7 on Sundays so I'll most likely have to watch it online. But that looks really good cuz it's like fairytale ish, like it's like Enchanted only not so happy and annoying, more dark and awesome and whatnot.

Bonfire. So I've started telling people about my bonfire that I'm having, and I'm getting kinda excited about it. Cuz bonfires are fun, and so are people. I'm also excited for Halloween, which is soon.

I gotta go shop for a present for Ali, cuz his birthday's on Friday. Speaking of Friday, the Chan-Chaska game is on Friday, and I might perhaps be marching snare because Cassidy's getting surgery so she won't be able to so she told Mr Swanson that I could march in her place but I don't know if I am yet because he hasn't said anything, because it'll be quite difficult to learn the entire routine in two days. Especially since 1. I've never marched before and 2. The snares are fairly conspicuous.

Okay I gotta go eat food now which is good cuz I'm extremely hungry, so bye.